Unfazed, I continued bargaining, "Look, you don't have to kill me now! Maybe you could just kill me the day right before I'm supposed to die? Don't you see? It's win-win!"
Exclaimed she, "Enough! There is only one way that I can allow you to live. You must ask me a question I cannot answer. But since I know everything, it is very unlikely you will find that question. You may try if you wish."
I quickly thought and thought and thought. I was thinking so hard that it hurt my brain. But suddenly, I did come up with a question that couldn't be answered!
She saw the expression on my face and asked, "Are you prepared for the afterlife?"
I was emboldened and defiant! (Someone was playing the "Lodoss Wars" BGM CD in the background, you see).
Exclaimed I, "I have a question that not even you, the all-knowing, all-seeing goddess can answer! It is more elusive than the meaning of life! It is more mysterious than death! It is more profound than the existence of a black hole! Its solution is beyond the grasp of our comprehension! Not all the brilliant minds that ever existed nor will exist in the history mankind could ever find an answer!"
As I spoke these words, the goddess became more and more enraged. Unearthly light filled the atmosphere! Clouds began to swirl in the sky! Waves of energy began to pulsate around her form! Strong winds tousled my hair and lapped at my clothes. She held out her hand towards me as if to wipe me clean from the face of the earth as soon as I asked my question.
Bellowed she, "Ask and then die!"
Summoning my last amount of confidence...
Shouted I, "Why isn't anime popular in America?"

The last thing I remember, everything went white, just like when she arrived. I woke up with a start at my desk. Everything seemed normal. I looked outside into the bright afternoon. The mini-blinds on my windows cast slotted shadows across my face. A car passed by on the street and I could hear my noisy teenage neighbors through the window screen. All was calm and quiet.
I had survived! She couldn't answer the question! I never expected anime would save my life, but here I am—living proof!
I was glad to be alive, but now, I couldn't stop thinking about the cute goddess or the unanswerable question I had asked her. Is there an answer to why anime isn't popular here in America? Its appeal has been proven around the world, but why not here? Why does RIAP exist if there's no hope? Would I ever see the goddess again?
As I pondered these questions, I didn't realize how late it was getting. The sun had already set and the light was fading quickly from the sky. But then, without warning, an apparition appeared right in front of my face. It was the goddess of the mountain, only now she appeared to me only 1/5 scale.
Fear gripped me at first, but again, I was mysteriously drawn to the goddess.
She spoke to me in a somber voice, "Because I was not able to answer your question, I am forced to endure this terrible punishment! I will be trapped forever in the form of this garage kit! For the rest of eternity I'll have to hold this humiliating pose, wear these embarrassing clothes and flash this fake smile even when my face hurts."
I really felt bad for her, even though she did try to kill me just a few hours ago.
I said to her, "That's horrible! Isn't there anything I can do to free you from this cruel punishment?"
Said she, "Only if you bring me the answer to your question will I be free. But since you were stupid enough to almost get yourself killed, I don't have too much hope that you'll find the answer any time soon. I think I should just resign myself to my fate. Besides, I'm starting to like these clothes."
Said I, "I don't care if you think I'm stupid. I'll find the answer and set you free. But, after you are free, you can no longer kill people, especially me, OK? You can only do good deeds.
Whined she, "Do I have to?"
Replied I, "Yes. Or else I'll sell you to some sicko fanboy at the next convention I go to.
Dejectedly she said, "Oh, all right... anything but that!"
And with that, I set off again to visit Silicon Mountain, for I felt sure that the answer was waiting for me somewhere in the depths of that fantastic world.

To be continued...